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I'm just here to say hello and to express my support for this project. I'm from Australia and I've been through the courts with personality disordered ex while self representing. I've helped mates write affidavits and parenting order proposals but most of all, I've helped them with moral support so I have some understanding of how important this project is. I've since remarried and my wife went through the same thing from the other side of the gender fence. Her ex is a flat out PD and she got shafted by her lawyers, quickly running out of money. One thing you realise is that every situation is different and every child and their parental relationships are different but the evil is all the same. Right now in Australia, they are about to remove the presumption of shared parenting responsibility and meaningful time spent with both parents. Basically facilitating sociopathic parents who will steal the other parent from their own kid - leaving them traumatised for life. Like I said, pure evil. You learn a lot about how the world works when you experience this first hand. Some of us do not survive the experience. Not many people care about that. This work is important.
I'm from South Africa and have just been awarded phased in contact after a 5 month ex parte no contact at all and further no contact for 8 months with daily telephone contact. The no contact order was based on a perjured affidavit and a biased magistrate who later recuses themselves for bias.
My ex has primary care and primary residence. My ex however is a danger to my child as she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder before he was born and was a terrible neglectful mother I'm the 6 years leading up to the abduction. My son had this formed his primary attachment bond with me and that was crushed by his sick mother. The courts fail to recognise the bpd dispute it's risk of abuse to the child. They refuse to listen to calls for them to request the medical records of the diagnosing psychiatrist. It has been constitutionally a unfair trial.
I missed the time limits to submit an appeal or a review on the final order but have however thought about taking the presiding magistrates who along with the district chief magistrate recused themselves for bias accusations. I have represented myself throughout the 3 year battle to date. I am looking at having the existing orders set aside by using the promotion of administrative justice act (effectively drafted and enacted to enforce the right to a fair trial as prescribed in our constitution. I would like to apply to set aside the existing orders and retry the matter. I would also seek for financial remedy for constitutional violations against the state. The loss of my son was. Devastating emotionally and I was left unfit emotionally to even work and thus resigned.
Hope someone has some advise on the lack of borderline personality disorder and lack of taking it into consideration in determining the best interest of the child. Also could the route of unfair trial due to bias under constitutional violations to fair trial work in this matter.
Wayne Watson CA (SA)
I hope you find the legal advice you need. Losing the ability to carry on your vocation is not uncommon - particularly if you've suffered under a long history of psychologcial abuse. The court contest, in reality, adds to the abuse because an unhinged opposition will invent harmful accusations against you, smear and libel you, and when not dealt with properly, the court will add their impact to the denigration and psychological attacks on you every time they go along with bogus allegations and behave like they've never ever heard anyone tell a lie before. Nobody addresses this. The impact that it has on your self-image and emotional well being cannot be overstated. For the most part in our society, nobody cares. People just think you're lazy or worse - despite past acheivements. If I had my time again, I wouldn't put my faith and endless energy into the court system, I would let her be a single mum and just work on myself and my career for the purposes of being their for the kid when they pop out the other side of their experience with psycho mum. But thats just me. All the best. Good luck.
Parental Alienation is a dangerous game. Here’s why. There’s no positive benefit to children when one parent operates in that manner. No matter what a situation might Bring forth amongst 2 adults parents should never get the children involved. I pray that we all find healing and continue to proceed and never give up on who matters most. Love from NYC
I'm a father, and have been alienated from my daughter since 2009, the mother of my daughter abducted our daughter after break down and close separation and has made it hard and difficult to forge and maintain a healthy relationship, even after 8 years of family court. I didn't go to the final hearing of court, as I was told that my son, my daughter's younger brother from another broken relationship had met his sister, and because the latter part of my campaign for access and contact was more about new brother and older sister making regular contact so I was naturally overjoyed, I relinquished the battle as both mothers had joined against me to alienate me from both children.
I've had to do some real deep diving and soul searching of myself and my behaviour patterns, which means finding my purpose and valuing myself and growing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, because truth be told the relationship with my son's mother is broken, I've practically found myself in the same situation twice! Luckily, my mother sees her grandson but with the "promise" that my mother also alienates me and keeps it a secret when she has him, this is a strange feeling as I'm happy my mum gets to spend time with her first grandson and he can see his cousins and family members, but I cannot help of feeling weirdly betrayed.
In fact, this was the same thing that happened between my mother and my ex-partner and my daughter, only that time my mother finally did tell me when my daughter was with her but my ex-partner found out about me being at the house having contact with my daughter and practically punished my mother from having contact with my daughter who was just 7 months at the time.
Now she is 13, and a few days I received a call from CAFCASS, I was stunned at first thinking what was it about, had my daughter's mum had a sense of realisation that she could no longer alienate our daughter as a teenager? Had my sons mum decided that it would be beneficial for our son to have contact and access together with me again? My sons mother recently found out that my wife of three years and I have a newborn daughter, as of course my mother expressed to my son of the good news of being a big brother.
Unfortunately, it wasn't anything like that, it was an C100 application from my daughter's mother to request my to consent to a name change!!!!
This took me aback. What more can also be done as a result of Parental Alienation than to alienate my family and further cause harm to our child.
So now I'm ready to go to court to prove that the mother of my daughter is a Parental Alienator and that the result of parental alienation syndrome has led my daughter to want to change her name so bad that her mother had to make a court application.
My story is my story. I have nothing to hide and would greatly appreciate if I could get some help or support with this. I know who I am and have done some great inner work and I am ready for this challenge across the other side of London. This case and PAPA could not have come at a better time.
Don't be overly hard on yourself. You've landed up in a toxic web of female manipulation - probably through no fault of your own in the aggregate. You're so used to being gaslit that you keep getting convinced that more "inner work" is the way out of the psychological walls these nut job females have built up around you. You're right to work on yourself for your own sake, but not because any part of you deserved this bullshit for the unforgivable sin of not being perfect. The PD narcissit can exploit any [minor] flaw to send you into a guilt spiral because they saw you and your vulnerability a mile away. I would guess that you were raised by a single mum and she's the one who is responsible for your vulnerability in the first place. If that is the case, just accept it and be your own person. The more you struggle to see your kid, the more these bitches will use them as props. As far as they are behaving, those kids are just tools and you are a dumping ground for all their toxic waste. Leave that entire world and build yourself up. For God's sake man, don't get another GF until your mission is complete. You can't risk another tojan horse injection of more toxic femininity. Those kids will grow up and when you see them again, you need to be someone who exudes self-assuredness and success. ie. they need their dad to be a strong dad. Leave the faux guilt behind if existing the scene feels that way. Read the book "the art of not giving a fuck" by Mark Manson. Good luck, all the best.
If you pull a Macus Aurelius on them they will be shocked and stunned. They will probably suddenly turn sweet to see if they can bring you back in under their control (using access to the kids). Go against your intuition and stay the course. Tell em to get bent. If you get to talk to your kids, tell them that you will always love them no matter what anyone says but you're not going to fuck around with their crazy mums*. Just a suggestion. Find your own path. Peace out.
** I'm always 100% honest with my kids and I don't do the modern psychology thing of giving shelter to mum's bullshit games so she can contiue to play them under cover of secrecy. You can do that without attacking their mother with ad hominem. Sorry for sounding preachy, but I care about these issues and I hate to see families like yours suffer from the rot.
Hi. I’m a step mum. So although not a father, I still have to witness alienation at it’s finest. This has been ongoing for years. There’s a court order in place but now we are slowly seeing attempts at thwarting contact, limiting Communication as well as lies!
Unfortunately, the system REQUIRES that you (your husband) takes proactive action by way of a contravention order (at least thats what they call it in Australia). You have to fastidiously document every word and detail (timestamps) in all dealing with his ex and when you have enough evidence, you have to execute the court case. This can be self-representing. Its not that hard but I'm not giving legal advice. I had to do this and my ex got found guilty on all 5 counts of contravening the orders. I was careful to document the flagrance she exhibited in disregard for the court and disrespect for the court. Magistrates hate that shit. The judge tore her and her arachnid mother a new arsehole. It was satisfying not so much in terms of revenge, but in terms of the stress relief knowing that she could not try that shit again. It's stressfull when they keep you guessing and you don't know if you will get the kids for an elaborate holiday you've planned for them. My ex would constantly and knowingly sabotage holiday plans. The contravention put an end do that. Your superpower is detailed documentation with detailed context. Use chat GPT to help you word things when you put your note into an affidavit. I never had that back in my day.