10 Common Mistakes That Contribute to Parental Alienation.

Parental alienation and family court proceedings can create enormous stress for parents and children alike.

Maintaining a strong relationship with your children during such difficult times is crucial.

Nonetheless, it is easy to make mistakes that complicate the situation further.

Being aware of these common missteps can help parents navigate their circumstances more effectively and lead to better outcomes.

If you are a parent currently going through family court, it is highly recommended that you join PAPA Plus and make use of our courses and other resources, including PAPA AI.

If you require direct assistance with your case, you can also book a call with PAPA 

This article highlights the 10 most common mistakes that we see parents making which can contribute to parental alienation.

Lack of Communication

One major mistake parents often make during family court situations is not communicating effectively.

Communication is vital.

When parents fail to talk openly, misunderstandings can grow, leading to increased tension and emotional distance.

Make it a priority to keep communication lines open not just with your ex-partner but also with your child and any legal representatives.

Schedule regular check-ins with your child every week to ask about their feelings and concerns.

For instance, a simple call or video chat on Sunday evenings can help your child feel loved and supported.

This practice builds a sense of stability and reassurance during turbulent times.

Engaging in Negative Talk

Engaging in negative talk about the other parent is another misstep many make.

Even if there's conflict, talking poorly about the other parent can confuse and distress your child.

Children are highly impressionable.

For example, a study showed that children who overheard one parent speak negatively about the other were 70% more likely to experience anxiety.

Instead, focus on speaking positively or neutrally about your co-parent.

Encourage your child to express their feelings and remain supportive of their relationship with both parents.

Ignoring Court Orders

Family court orders are designed to protect the child's best interests.

Ignoring these orders, whether they relate to visitation or communication protocols, can complicate matters further.

When one parent disregards these guidelines, it creates chaos for the child.

For instance, if you don’t follow a scheduled visitation, your child may become confused or feel unimportant.

Make a conscious commitment to follow court orders.

This demonstrates respect for the process and shows your dedication to your child's well-being.

Letting Emotions Drive Decisions

Navigating parental alienation brings an overwhelming array of emotions, from anger to sadness.

However, allowing these feelings to dictate your decisions can lead to undesirable outcomes.

Take a moment before acting on impulse.

For example, if you receive upsetting news about visitation, consider waiting a few hours before making any decisions.

When it’s time to act, base your choices on what’s best for your child—not your emotional response.

Inconsistency in Parenting

Inconsistency in parenting can significantly impact your child's emotional health.

Changes in behaviour, routines, or communication can confuse them, especially during such sensitive periods.

Establish a consistent parenting approach.

For example, create a daily routine that your child can rely on, such as having dinner at the same time each night, followed by reading a story before bed.

This consistency fosters feelings of safety and trust, allowing for a stronger connection with your child.

Focusing on Winning Instead of Co-Parenting

It's common for parents to want to "win" in family court or prove they're the better parent.

This mindset can lead to confrontations and more alienation from your child.

Shift your focus to co-parenting.

Collaborate with the other parent to create a nurturing environment where your child can thrive.

Research shows that cooperative co-parenting can lead to emotional stability for children.

Keeping your child’s well-being at the forefront makes the process smoother and creates a positive impression in court.

Not Documenting Events

Documentation can play a vital role in family court situations.

Parents should consistently document communications, incidents of alienation, and changes in visitation schedules.

Failing to keep records can weaken your credibility in court.

For example, if you claim the other parent is preventing visitation, evidence like text messages or a journal documenting these instances can substantiate your claims.

Keep detailed records of all relevant events to present a clearer view of the situation when necessary.

Allowing Other People to Influence Your Relationship

While advice from friends and family can help, relying too heavily on their opinions can create confusion.

Keep your focus on what matters most: your relationship with your child.

Seek guidance from PAPA or a therapist who understands your unique circumstances.

This advice will often be more helpful and tailored compared to the well-meaning but possibly misguided suggestions from others.

Failing to Join PAPA Plus

The complexities of parental alienation and family court can feel overwhelming.

Many parents make the mistake of not joining PAPA Plus during this time.

With extensive and valuable resources such as courses and PAPA Ai, PAPA Plus can provide valuable support.

PAPA Plus offers strategies to improve your situation and help navigate emotional challenges.

Remember, you don’t have to face this journey alone.

The support of PAPA can empower you to build a better relationship with your child and mitigate the impact of alienation.

If you're going through family court, make sure to join PAPA Plus today.

Neglecting Self-Care

Lastly, many parents overlook self-care while focusing on their children's needs.

However, neglecting your well-being can undermine your effectiveness as a parent.

Take time for yourself.

Whether it means engaging in hobbies, exercising, or spending time with supportive friends, prioritising your mental and emotional health is key.

Research indicates that parents who practice self-care report higher levels of happiness, which can foster a more positive atmosphere for their children.

Overcoming Parental Alienation

Ultimately, understanding these common missteps can help parents face the challenges of parental alienation and family court effectively.

Open communication, commitment to co-parenting, and self-care are essential aspects of preserving a strong relationship with your children during these tough times.

By focusing on what matters most—the well-being of your children—you can navigate the complexities of parental alienation with greater confidence and effectiveness.

In need of help or support?

If you are an alienated parent reading this article and feel you are in need of help and support then please make sure to join PAPA today by signing up here on our website.

This will give you access to our community support forum as well as our Resource Centre, which includes downloadable guides and on-demand courses to help through the process of being alienated and regaining contact with your children.

We also have our Facebook support group that you can join here.

Our Facebook support group has several dedicated chat rooms where you can get immediate support.

If you are a member of PAPA you can also send us a message here on the website and we will try to get back to you as soon as possible but please bear in mind, we have hundreds of messages weekly so it may take us a while to get back to you.

We are currently prioritising PAPA Plus members due to high demand.

Regardless of circumstance you are not alone and at PAPA we are here to support you.

Become a PAPA Ambassador

If you like our resources, articles and support networks and agree with what we stand for then why not get involved and help us push PAPA further by joining our Ambassador Program?

We would love for you to join us and help spread awareness for parental alienation and all of the dynamics involved so that we can continue to help parents and children towards a better future.

Our Ambassador Program allows you to grow your involvement with the cause by earning points on your membership.

To earn points we have created rewards for actions such as completing one of our courses, booking a case review, or ordering supply.

We will be adding new rewards and actions to our Ambassador Program as we continue to grow our awareness efforts.

We want our members to feel rewarded for their support as we continue to look for new ways to improve the lives of those impacted by parental alienation.

You can also become a PAPA Plus member, which will give you exclusive access to even more help and resources.

Each PAPA Plus membership makes a huge difference to the cause as it really helps us to improve our services and our awareness campaigns.

Proceeds from memberships and supply allow us to push the cause much further towards raising awareness and improving our services and resources so that we can continue to help more and more parents and children.

Thank you for reading and for your continued support of PAPA and our mission to end parental alienation.