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It's just a matter of time.

Why time can be your ally when dealing with the dynamics of parental alienation.


The feeling of being stopped from seeing your child(ren) is an intense feeling of loss and it's a feeling of loss of control.


This feeling creates the illusion of action where you feel that you must do something immediately in order to rectify the situation however this is seldom the case. Often when we react to such a situation we do so out of anger and/or despair. This is not a position of strength emotionally speaking which can have disastrous consequences when bad decisions are then made in the 'heat of the moment'.


Nothing good can come from anger.


Likely you may have already reacted this way or been involved in some intense arguments but this almost never helps the situation.


Now, I know the intense pain of not being able to see your child(ren), it's a pain almost indescribable and by far the darkest days of my life. I know how hard it is to control your emotions when it feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest - this is where you must show strength and discipline.


This is why it's so important to take a step back, to compose yourself for the battle that may lie ahead. Your children will be happy that you did.


You have to adopt a rational, more strategic mindset, whether it's a case of going to court or just by dealing with the child's other parent in a more civil manner.


I personally started therapy during the roughest time of my life and I also started doing meditations, I would go for walks out in nature just to clear my head. All of this helped me to see the steps that I had to make in order to achieve my goal, which was equal shared custody of my son. Which I have had now for many years.


Whether you are in the process of going to family court or you're starting to deal directly with the other parent, you can only expect results when you are in a position of control.


A lot of people who I have helped, the vast majority in fact have had success in regaining 'meaningful' contact with their children and it starts from adopting a more positive mindset, in that time is just part of the equation and as time passes you are getting closer and closer to your end goal.


I know it's not necessarily what you may want to hear and I myself still sometimes grieve for the time I missed out on but it's out of your control so the best mindset is to concentrate on what you can control. Which is your emotions and your actions - once they're both under your control you have great prospects of having a positive outcome.


Take a step back, work on a strategy, work on your emotions and know that it's just a matter of time until you're back with the ones you love the most.


I hope this article was helpful but if you're looking for more in depth help then you can either join our website forum or our facebook support group.

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Im a frandparent warching my daughter go through this abuse with her ex and her son. Her son is 9 and we are not able to discus it because it is an ongoing court case but it is horrific and the anger i feel is emense. I dont know how my daughters holding it together i dont know how much more I can take.This evil weasel has managed to manipulate people around him and hes a sad looser whos angry because my daughter didnt want him anymore so he is using his child as a weapon. Hes disgusting. He doesnt care that his son is hurting he only cares about himslwf because he obviously has a personality disorder.

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