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  • Writer's picturePAPA

Let me see my kids! Why cant I see my kids?

There are very few justifiable reasons to stop a parent/child relationship so why are we still allowing parental alienation?

As a society we've become more and more tolerant of other beliefs and ideologies but sometimes tolerance can lead to ignorance.

It seems as though as a society we are either tolerant or ignorant of parental alienation because otherwise why would we still be allowing it to continue?

There's an argument that it's too profitable to the government and family court to try create a better infrastructure around parenting and ensuring both parents have access to the same help and guidance. Why else in 2023 (when over 50% of marriages end in divorce) would we have a setup that still pits parents against one another by assuming one is more important than the other?

Amongst any other demographic this would be seen blatant discrimination but in family law this is still allowed and often encouraged, why?

The fact that family law is a multibillion pound industry worldwide further cements the idea that it's hard to disprove such an argument. It certainly makes sense, at the very least, why parental alienation is always seen as an afterthought by governments.

Maybe it's easy to profit off of the poor parents desperate to see their children but what about the damage it can do to the children? Are they just collateral damage? Or maybe they're seen as future profits for when they inevitably seek counselling in the future?

It's a sobering thought but it's a reality more often than not. Parental Alienation is severely damaging to both adults and children and we need to ensure a lot more is done to prevent it from happening. We need to end the suffering.

It's a scary thought but it's also reality that there are millions and millions of adult and children worldwide reliant upon the family court system. A system that for lack of a better argument, is set up to exploit them rather than protect them.

In the UK it costs £30 to make a civil claim against another party in court but £232 to apply for a child arrangement order. In my view this is wildly disproportionate.

We could solve a lot of cases by halving the cost of applying for a child arrangement order. It may be less profitable for the courts but they'd have a lot more filed because it then becomes instantly more affordable. I've lost count of how many people who've come to me or joined PAPA and have been immediately intimidated by the family court process because of the cost just to get started. Not even factoring in potential solicitor fees etc.

No parent should have to pay for the right to see their children so we need to make it easier for those forced into such situations.

Sometimes there are legitimate reasons for a parent to be be denied access to their children and in those cases the family court has a purpose but these cases are few and far between.

Often we see it's one parent trying to wield control over the other, sometimes there are allegations of abuse etc but more often it's one parent baselessly deciding the other is unfit.

In these cases we need to see harsher punishments but before we get to that stage we need to encourage parents to work together.

To do that we should be assuming both parents are equally involved and treating every case as such unless it's been otherwise stated.

This would need to start with giving both parents equal support from the get-go, which should include equal access to financial support, perhaps on the condition that both parents work together.

Attitudes are shifting thanks to work done by PAPA and other groups and organisations but it's still evident in the UK at least, that there's an expectation that one parent will assume more responsibility than the other and that's why our infrastructure is based on that.

It's clear that our current policies and infrastructures are outdated and not moving as quickly as they should be. It's now statistically more common for a child to have separated parents than for them to be together so we need to have policies in place that reflect this so that we can protect parent/child relationships.

Help us fight for a better future for parents and children worldwide and put an end to parental alienation.

If you or someone you know are having issues with child contact or feel as though you're being alienated then please sign up to our free to use forum or our facebook group. We will and always have provided free support to those who need it.

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My son is going through so much his mental health is suffering because of lies and daily harassment on the other party we could do with some help🙏

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