Top Tips for Achieving 50/50 Shared Custody.

Navigating child custody agreements can be incredibly challenging for parents going through divorce or separation.

The focus should always be on the well-being of the children involved.

Achieving a 50/50 shared custody arrangement not only allows both parents to have an active role in their children's lives, but it also provides the stability and security children need during such transitions.

While the term "custody" is no longer 'officially used', it is still a common term used amongst professionals and parents.

You may be more familiar with the terms 'residence', 'lives with' or 'contact' but they ultimately all mean the same thing.

In this article we look at some essential tips to help you secure a fair 50/50 shared custody agreement.

If you're an alienated parent and need help with your situation then please join PAPA today.

At PAPA we have several free to use support spaces, as well as additional resources available to our Plus members, such as courses, PAPA AI and 1-2-1 help

Understand the Law

Before engaging in custody negotiations, it's crucial to grasp the legal framework surrounding shared custody.

The Child Arrangement Order is a significant legal document that defines where the child will live and how much time they will spend with each parent.

Familiarise yourself with terms such as Residence Orders and Contact Orders.

For example, a Residence Order can specify that the child lives primarily with one parent while still maintaining regular contact with the other.

Knowing these terms can empower you during discussions and avoid future misunderstandings.

Prioritise the Child’s Best Interests

At the heart of custody matters is the principle of placing the child's best interests first.

This means that your discussions about custody should be focused on what is best for your children, rather than personal conflicts with your ex-partner.

For instance, studies indicate that children benefit significantly from ongoing relationships with both parents, leading to better emotional stability and fewer behavioural issues.

Demonstrating this commitment can show the court that you prioritise your children's needs, which can improve your chances of securing a fair custody arrangement.

Effective Communication

Clear and open communication with your ex-partner is essential for successfully negotiating shared custody.

Despite any past conflicts, maintaining a respectful dialogue can lead to better co-parenting arrangements.

Tools such as co-parenting apps can help manage schedules, responsibilities, and children’s activities without letting emotions take over.

For example, using an app like OurFamilyWizard can reduce misunderstandings and provide a shared platform for coordinating logistics.

Develop a Parenting Plan

Creating a comprehensive parenting plan can serve as a roadmap for your shared custody arrangement.

This plan should outline each parent's responsibilities, including pick-up and drop-off times, holiday arrangements, and important decisions regarding education and health.

For example, if one parent is designated as the primary contact for school events, this should be clearly stated.

Having a formal plan keeps both parents accountable and allows for smoother transitions for your children between homes.

Demonstrate Commitment to Co-Parenting

Showing your commitment to co-parenting is crucial for a successful custody arrangement.

This means being involved in your child's life, attending school events, and maintaining regular communication with your ex-partner about your child’s needs.

Actively participating in your child’s educational activities—like attending parent-teacher meetings—demonstrates your dedication to their well-being and positively impacts custody decisions.

Research shows that children thrive when both parents actively participate in their upbringing.

Stay Flexible

Flexibility can significantly reduce tensions during custody negotiations.

Life can be unpredictable, and plans might change due to unforeseen circumstances.

By being open to adjustments—like swapping weekends if something comes up—you may encourage your ex-partner to do the same.

Such cooperation can lead to a more amicable custody arrangement that benefits everyone involved.

Keep Detailed Records

Documenting your agreements, communications, and involvement in your child’s life is vital during custody negotiations.

For example, keep a journal of significant events, interactions with your ex-partner, and milestones in your child's development.

This record can serve as valuable evidence if disputes arise.

A well-maintained log of your involvement—including activities like sports events or doctor's appointments—demonstrates your commitment to co-parenting and can influence court decisions.

Engage Professionals if Necessary

In some cases, seeking professional help may be beneficial during custody discussions.

Mediators and experts like PAPA can provide impartial guidance and assist both parties in resolving their differences without resorting to court.

Research shows that mediation can reduce conflict and lead to more satisfactory outcomes for both parents and children.

Professional support can be particularly helpful when emotions run high or communication has broken down.

Be Prepared for Court

While the goal is often to settle custody matters amicably, being prepared for the possibility of court intervention is essential.

Understanding the court process and gathering relevant documents—like your parenting plan or communication records—can help you feel more secure.

Presenting yourself as a reasonable and cooperative parent in court can positively influence the judge's custody decision.

PAPA Plus members report feeling much more prepared for family court after using our courses and PAPA AI.

Encourage a Positive Relationship

Promoting a healthy relationship between your children and their other parent is vital for shared custody success.

Encourage your children to spend time with their other parent, and avoid negative remarks about your ex in front of them.

Studies show that children do better emotionally when their parents foster positive relationships.

This can also help solidify your case for shared custody, as it indicates your commitment to co-parenting even during difficult times.

Moving Toward Shared Custody

Achieving a 50/50 shared custody arrangement is challenging but attainable with careful planning and communication.

By understanding the legal framework, prioritising the well-being of your children, and showing a commitment to co-parenting, you can create a more supportive environment for your children.

Remember, the overall goal is to ensure your children's happiness and stability.

By focusing on their needs, you stand a greater chance of successfully negotiating shared custody.

In need of help or support?

If you are an alienated parent reading this article and feel you are in need of help and support then please make sure to join PAPA today by signing up here on our website.

This will give you access to our community support forum as well as our Resource Centre, which includes downloadable guides and on-demand courses to help through the process of being alienated and regaining contact with your children.

We also have our Facebook support group that you can join here.

Our Facebook support group has several dedicated chat rooms where you can get immediate support.

If you are a member of PAPA you can also send us a message here on the website and we will try to get back to you as soon as possible but please bear in mind, we have hundreds of messages weekly so it may take us a while to get back to you.

We are currently prioritising PAPA Plus members due to high demand.

Regardless of circumstance you are not alone and at PAPA we are here to support you.

Become a PAPA Ambassador

If you like our resources, articles and support networks and agree with what we stand for then why not get involved and help us push PAPA further by joining our Ambassador Program?

We would love for you to join us and help spread awareness for parental alienation and all of the dynamics involved so that we can continue to help parents and children towards a better future.

Our Ambassador Program allows you to grow your involvement with the cause by earning points on your membership.

To earn points we have created rewards for actions such as completing one of our courses, booking a case review, or ordering supply.

We will be adding new rewards and actions to our Ambassador Program as we continue to grow our awareness efforts.

We want our members to feel rewarded for their support as we continue to look for new ways to improve the lives of those impacted by parental alienation.

You can also become a PAPA Plus member, which will give you exclusive access to even more help and resources.

Each PAPA Plus membership makes a huge difference to the cause as it really helps us to improve our services and our awareness campaigns.

Proceeds from memberships and supply allow us to push the cause much further towards raising awareness and improving our services and resources so that we can continue to help more and more parents and children.

Thank you for reading and for your continued support of PAPA and our mission to end parental alienation.