What is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is a pressing issue that affects many relationships, especially within families.

This pattern of behaviour often establishes power over an individual, leading to significant harm, especially to children.

If you've ever wondered how the dynamics of parental relationships influence child development, you're in the right place.

This article aims to clarify what coercive control is, its impact, and its connection to parental alienation, providing examples and actionable insights.

If you're an alienated parent and need help with your situation then please join PAPA today.

At PAPA we have several free to use support spaces, as well as additional resources available to our Plus members, such as courses, PAPA AI and 1-2-1 help

Coercive Control Explained

Coercive control consists of various behaviours that individuals use to dominate others.

While it may not involve physical violence, the psychological effects can be devastating.

Key components of coercive control include:

• Isolation: Victims often find themselves cut off from friends or supportive family members. Studies show that isolation can increase feelings of helplessness by up to 50%.

  
  

• Intimidation: Subtle threats and derogatory comments create a fearful environment, where victims may feel they cannot freely express themselves.

  
  

• Monitoring: Victims are frequently overseen—this may include tracking their whereabouts or scrutinising their communications, robbing them of personal freedom.

  
  

These behaviours can lead to grave emotional consequences, diminishing one's sense of self-worth and diminishing independence.

Recognising the Signs of Coercive Control

Being aware of the signs of coercive control can help victims identify their circumstances.

Common indicators include:

• Excessive Jealousy: For example, a partner who questions your conversations with friends or family can create tensions that lead to distrust.

  
  

• Unreasonable Demands: Dictating your clothing choices, social interactions, or daily activities can be considered controlling behaviour.

  
  

• Gaslighting: This tactic makes the victim question their reality. For instance, if they are told their feelings are irrational, they may start doubting themselves.

  
  

• Emotional Deprivation: A lack of support and affection can keep victims feeling unworthy and alone.

  
  

Recognising these signs is vital for those experiencing coercive control to address the issue head-on.

The Impact of Coercive Control on Families

Coercive control doesn't just affect individuals; it influences entire family dynamics.

Victims often struggle with guilt and confusion, which can distort relationships.

For families with children, the stakes are particularly high.

Effects on Children

Children absorb the emotional environment around them.

For instance, studies have shown that children in abusive households can experience a 30% higher level of anxiety than their peers.

The effects may include:

• Emotional Conflict: Children may feel torn, leading to guilt over loving both parents.

  
  

• Behavioural Issues: Symptoms can include increased aggression or withdrawal during social situations due to anxiety.

  
  

• Normalising Abuse: Children raised in an environment with coercive control might view such behaviour as typical in adult relationships, setting a dangerous precedent for their own future interactions.

  
  

Recognising how coercive control affects children is critical for promoting healthier family relationships and environments.

What is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation occurs when one parent undermines the child's bond with the other parent through manipulation and emotional pressure.

Key Components of Parental Alienation

• Bad-Mouthing: Speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the child can deeply affect their perception.

  
  

• Limiting Contact: Preventing or reducing the child's time with the other parent can create emotional gaps.

  
  

• Creating Fear or Distrust: Encouraging negative feelings towards the other parent can isolate the child emotionally.

  
  

These tactics can lead to significant emotional distress and long-term relational issues for children caught in the middle.

The Link Between Coercive Control and Parental Alienation

While coercive control and parental alienation appear to be different issues, they often intertwine.

When one parent employs coercive control, it can set the stage for parental alienation.

How Coercive Control Fuels Parental Alienation

1. Isolation from the Other Parent: A controlling parent may limit the child's contact with the other parent, reinforcing their own power and negatively affecting the child's relationship.

   
   

2. Emotional Manipulation: By instilling fear or guilt towards the other parent, the controlling parent manipulates the child's feelings, promoting alienation.

   
   

3. Influence on Child’s Perspective: Disparaging comments from one parent can skew the child's understanding, resulting in a biased view of their other parent.

   
   

Understanding this connection is essential for preventing further emotional harm to children involved.

Implications for Support and Intervention

Recognising the dynamic between coercive control and parental alienation is crucial for effective intervention.

Support strategies should include:

• Education and Awareness: Informing parents and family members about the signs of coercive control can empower them to seek help.

  
  

• Therapeutic Intervention: Providing psychological support for all parties involved, including the alienating parent, can promote healing.

  
  

• Guidance and Support: Families dealing with coercive control may benefit from guidance and support to navigate custody and visitation matters effectively. If you need some guidance, book a call with PAPA here.

  
  

Facilitating open conversations around these topics can help mitigate their damaging effects and promote healthier family relationships.

Moving Forward

Coercive control and parental alienation pose significant threats to emotional well-being in families.

Acknowledging their signs and understanding their relationship are vital steps toward healing.

Promoting education and encouraging open dialogue about these issues can break the cycle of control and alienation.

If you or someone you know may be facing coercive control or parental alienation, seeking professional help is essential.

By tackling these sensitive matters, we not only support those affected but also contribute to building a society that values emotional health for everyone involved.

In need of help or support?

If you are an alienated parent reading this article and feel you are in need of help and support then please make sure to join PAPA today by signing up here on our website.

This will give you access to our community support forum as well as our Resource Centre, which includes downloadable guides and on-demand courses to help through the process of being alienated and regaining contact with your children.

We also have our Facebook support group that you can join here.

Our Facebook support group has several dedicated chat rooms where you can get immediate support.

If you are a member of PAPA you can also send us a message here on the website and we will try to get back to you as soon as possible but please bear in mind, we have hundreds of messages weekly so it may take us a while to get back to you.

We are currently prioritising PAPA Plus members due to high demand.

Regardless of circumstance you are not alone and at PAPA we are here to support you.

Become a PAPA Ambassador

If you like our resources, articles and support networks and agree with what we stand for then why not get involved and help us push PAPA further by joining our Ambassador Program?

We would love for you to join us and help spread awareness for parental alienation and all of the dynamics involved so that we can continue to help parents and children towards a better future.

Our Ambassador Program allows you to grow your involvement with the cause by earning points on your membership.

To earn points we have created rewards for actions such as completing one of our courses, booking a case review, or ordering supply.

We will be adding new rewards and actions to our Ambassador Program as we continue to grow our awareness efforts.

We want our members to feel rewarded for their support as we continue to look for new ways to improve the lives of those impacted by parental alienation.

You can also become a PAPA Plus member, which will give you exclusive access to even more help and resources.

Each PAPA Plus membership makes a huge difference to the cause as it really helps us to improve our services and our awareness campaigns.

Proceeds from memberships and supply allow us to push the cause much further towards raising awareness and improving our services and resources so that we can continue to help more and more parents and children.

Thank you for reading and for your continued support of PAPA and our mission to end parental alienation.