What to do if contact has been stopped?
Ok, first of all, let's look at the pragmatic options you can take.
None of this is pretty, but it is what you need to do.
A lot of parents either freeze in panic and don't do anything, and a lot of parents don't do anything because they think the situation will resolve. Whilst there may be edge cases, they are rare. Do not wait. You need to do something, and doing nothing is doing something because all the time your child(ren) aren't seeing you, a new normal is being established. Act now.
1. Initial Communication
Before considering formal action, try to resolve the situation directly with your ex-partner.
Steps to Take:
-
Written Communication: Calmly express your concerns in writing (email or letter).
-
Clarify the Situation: Politely ask why contact has been stopped.
-
Propose Solutions: Suggest a way to resume contact that works for everyone involved.
​
Challenges:
-
Emotional tensions may make communication difficult.
-
The other parent may refuse to engage constructively.
​
Likely outcome:
It won't work, but, it's worth a shot. Try it, unless you've been told not to contact your ex by them. Don't wait days for a response. If you don't get a response within 24 hours, move on to the next step. Many will argue that "it looks good in court' if you've tried to resolve the situation; in reality, it doesn't really make any difference and by the time you get to court, the situation is typically 10x worse.
Costs:
-
No financial cost at this stage, but emotional strain can be significant
-
If you're going to bank anything, bank your mental health
​
2. Mediation
If direct communication fails, mediation is often the next step.
How It Works:
-
A neutral third party helps both parents reach a suitable arrangement.
-
Mediation is often a legal requirement before applying to court unless there are safety concerns.
Benefits:
-
Faster and less adversarial than court.
-
Maintains a focus on the child’s best interests.
Challenges:
-
Mediation relies on both parties' willingness to compromise.
-
It may not resolve the issue if one parent is uncooperative.
Costs:
-
Mediation fees vary but are typically between £100–£150 per session.
-
Legal Aid may be available for eligible parents.
3. Applying to Court for a Child Arrangements Order
If mediation fails or is inappropriate, you can apply to the court.
Process:
-
Submit a C100 form to request a Child Arrangements Order.
-
The court will assess the child’s best interests based on factors outlined in the Welfare Checklist under the Children Act 1989.
Possible Outcomes:
-
The court may order regular contact, supervised contact, or indirect contact via letters or video calls, depending on circumstances.
-
In rare cases, the court may deny contact if it is deemed harmful to the child.
Challenges:
-
The process can be time-consuming and emotionally draining.
-
Courts may favor stability and continuity for the child, sometimes limiting changes to existing arrangements.
Costs:
-
Court application fee: Approximately £232.
-
Legal representation costs vary widely; self-representation can reduce expenses but requires thorough preparation.
4. Enforcement of Court Orders
If a court order is made but not followed, you can apply for enforcement.
Steps to Take:
-
Submit a C79 form to enforce the existing Child Arrangements Order.
Possible Actions by the Court:
-
Warning notices or fines for non-compliance.
-
In extreme cases, changes in child residence.
-
Usually, the existing order is simply enforced.
Challenges:
-
Enforcement can strain co-parenting relationships further.
-
The process may not guarantee immediate compliance.
Costs:
-
Court fees for enforcement applications are typically around £232.
Emotional and Practical Considerations
-
Support Networks: Lean on friends, family, or support groups for emotional support.
-
Documentation: Keep detailed records of all communications and missed contacts for future reference.
-
Child’s Well-Being: Focus on minimizing the impact of the situation on your child.
Final Thoughts
Navigating child contact disputes is challenging but staying calm, respectful, and child-focused increases the likelihood of a positive outcome. Consider legal advice early on to understand your rights and the best course of action for your circumstances. While costs can add up, the investment often proves invaluable in maintaining your relationship with your child.