top of page

The Family Court Incentives Nobody Wants to Admit Exist.

  • Writer: PAPA
    PAPA
  • 1 hour ago
  • 6 min read

Family courts are often seen as places where disputes between parents are resolved fairly and efficiently.


Two hands shaking in business attire against a plain white background, conveying professionalism and agreement.

Most people expect that the system works to serve the best interests of children and families.


Yet, a closer look reveals a different story.


Patterns in family court outcomes suggest an underlying incentive structure that shapes decisions and processes in ways that do not always align with the original intentions of justice and resolution.


This article explores the hidden incentives within family courts, how they influence outcomes, and what changes might be needed to better serve families.


If you are a parent currently going through family court, it is important that you join PAPA Plus and make use of our courses and other resources, including PAPA AI.


If you require direct assistance with your case, you can also book a call or one of our family law workshops with PAPA as a 'Plus' member.


What We Mean by “Incentive”


When discussing incentives in family courts, it is important to clarify that this is not necessarily about corruption or bad intentions.


Instead, incentives refer to the structural rewards and pressures built into the system.


These incentives guide behaviour by encouraging certain actions and discouraging others.


Systems behave according to what they reward.


In family courts, incentives affect judges, lawyers, social workers, and even parents.


Understanding these incentives helps explain why outcomes often differ from what families expect or need.


The Incentive to Avoid Risk


One of the strongest incentives in family court is the desire to avoid risk.


Courts fear being blamed if a decision leads to harm, especially to children.


This fear encourages a cautious approach:


  • It is safer to delay decisions than to make a potentially wrong call.

  • It is safer to restrict parental contact than to restore it if there is any doubt.

  • Judges and professionals tend to prioritise avoiding harm over promoting positive change.


This risk-avoidance mindset shapes many family court processes and outcomes, often leading to prolonged cases and conservative rulings.


Why Delay Becomes the Default


Delays in family court are often framed as necessary caution.


Adjournments and postponements are presented as neutral tools to gather more information or protect children.


However, time itself is not neutral:


  • Delays can change family dynamics and relationships.

  • They can increase stress and uncertainty for parents and children.

  • Time often hardens temporary arrangements into long-term realities.


Because the system rewards caution and risk avoidance, delay becomes the default response, even when swift decisions might better serve families.


The Incentive to Maintain the Status Quo


Interim arrangements in family court cases are meant to be temporary.


Yet, these arrangements often become permanent without clear review or adjustment.


This happens because:


  • Courts and professionals prefer stability over change.

  • Changing arrangements is seen as risky and disruptive.

  • What starts as a temporary order quietly becomes accepted as the norm.


This incentive to maintain the status quo can prevent families from moving forward or adapting to new circumstances.


The Incentive to De-escalate on Paper, Not in Reality


Family courts often focus on reducing visible conflict through language and compliance rather than addressing underlying issues.


This creates an incentive to:


  • Prioritise formal agreements and paperwork over genuine connection.

  • Emphasise process and procedure instead of meaningful resolution.

  • Value compliance with orders more than improving family relationships.


As a result, families may appear to cooperate on paper while real conflicts and challenges remain unresolved.


The Incentive to Treat Conflict as Symmetry


Courts frequently treat parental conflict as symmetrical, assuming both parents contribute equally to problems.


This approach:


  • Avoids making difficult judgements about responsibility.

  • Dilutes accountability for harmful behaviour.

  • Simplifies complex family dynamics into a “both sides” narrative.


This incentive can obscure the real causes of conflict and hinder effective solutions.


The Hidden Cost of These Incentives


The combined effect of these incentives has real consequences for families:


  • Parents become exhausted and may give up fighting for their rights.

  • Children adapt to parental absence or inconsistent contact.

  • Loss and disruption are framed as stability or safety.


These outcomes often fall short of what families hope for and can have lasting emotional and psychological effects.


Why Enforcement Is So Rare


Family court orders often lack enforcement.


This happens because:


  • Enforcement actions can trigger appeals and prolong cases.

  • Enforcement creates visibility and scrutiny that courts may want to avoid.

  • Inaction remains invisible and easier to manage than confrontation.


This reluctance to enforce orders leaves many families without the support they need to follow through on court decisions.


The full extent of the issue is highlighted in the PAPA Family Justice Transparency Report.


How the Family Court System Protects Itself


The family court system has few mechanisms to measure or improve outcomes:


  • There is little public data on enforcement or case results.

  • Outcome measurement is rare or absent.

  • Feedback loops that could inform better practices do not exist.


Without transparency and accountability, the system maintains its current incentive structure.


What Parents Learn Too Late


Many parents discover only after long experience that:


  • Court orders do not enforce themselves.

  • Waiting and silence often favour those who obstruct progress.

  • Active engagement and advocacy are necessary to protect their interests.


This learning curve can be painful and costly for families already under stress.


Why This Incentive Structure Persists


The current incentives persist because they serve institutional needs:


  • They reduce exposure to blame and criticism.

  • They spread responsibility across multiple actors.

  • They avoid difficult decisions and conflicts.


Changing these incentives requires addressing deep-rooted institutional priorities and culture.


What Would Change If Incentives Changed


If family courts adjusted their incentives, outcomes could improve significantly:


  • Early enforcement of orders would ensure compliance and reduce delays.

  • Time-bound decisions would prevent indefinite postponements.

  • Accountability for outcomes would focus attention on real family needs.


Such changes would encourage the system to act in ways that better support families and children.


Systems Do What They Are Rewarded to Do


Family courts are not failing because of bad actors.


They operate according to the incentives built into their structure.


Until those incentives change, outcomes will continue to fall short of intentions.


Understanding these hidden incentives is the first step toward reform.


Families, professionals, and policymakers can work together to create a system that rewards timely, fair, and meaningful resolutions.


In need of help or support?


If you are an alienated parent reading this article and feel you are in need of help and support then please make sure to join PAPA today by signing up here on our website.


This will give you access to our community support forum as well as our Resource Centre, which includes downloadable guides and on-demand courses to help through the process of being alienated and regaining contact with your children.


We also have our Facebook support group that you can join here.


Our Facebook support group has several dedicated chat rooms where you can get immediate support.


If you are a member of PAPA you can also send us a message here on the website and we will try to get back to you as soon as possible but please bear in mind, we have hundreds of messages weekly so it may take us a while to get back to you.


We are currently prioritising PAPA Plus members due to high demand.


Regardless of circumstance you are not alone and at PAPA we are here to support you.


Become a PAPA Ambassador


If you like our resources, articles and support networks and agree with what we stand for then why not get involved and help us push PAPA further by joining our Ambassador Program?


We would love for you to join us and help spread awareness for parental alienation and all of the dynamics involved so that we can continue to help parents and children towards a better future.


Our Ambassador Program allows you to grow your involvement with the cause by earning points on your membership.


To earn points we have created rewards for actions such as completing one of our courses, booking a case review, or ordering supply.


We will be adding new rewards and actions to our Ambassador Program as we continue to grow our awareness efforts.


We want our members to feel rewarded for their support as we continue to look for new ways to improve the lives of those impacted by parental alienation.


You can also become a PAPA Plus member, which will give you exclusive access to even more help and resources.


Each PAPA Plus membership makes a huge difference to the cause as it really helps us to improve our services and our awareness campaigns.


Proceeds from memberships and supply allow us to push the cause much further towards raising awareness and improving our services and resources so that we can continue to help more and more parents and children.


Thank you for reading and for your continued support of PAPA and our mission to end parental alienation.



Let's Connect

  • TikTok
Donate with PayPal

Donations are completely voluntary. Any amount will be used to maintain our support networks and to improve our services & campaigns.

Thanks for submitting!

Weekly Updates

Thanks for submitting!

© 2022 by People Against Parental Alienation. Created by Simon Cobb.

bottom of page