What Every Parent Should Know About Adverse Childhood Experiences.

A child’s future depends on more than just genetics.

The experiences they face during childhood play a crucial role in shaping their emotional, psychological, and physical wellbeing.

Some experiences help build resilience, while others create adversity.

Psychologists call these difficult events Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).

Decades of research reveal how deeply ACEs influence a child’s development.

Every parent and caregiver should understand why these experiences matter and how to support children through them.

This article is a child-focused introduction to Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), explaining how prolonged family conflict and the loss of important parent-child relationships can influence a child's development, resilience and long-term wellbeing.

If you're an alienated parent or family member and need help with your situation then you should join PAPA today.

At PAPA we have several free to use support spaces, as well as several additional resources available to our Plus members, such as courses, PAPA AI, 1-2-1 help and workshops on family law and mental health.

What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences?

Adverse Childhood Experiences refer to potentially traumatic or highly stressful events that occur during childhood.

These can include abuse, neglect, household dysfunction, or exposure to violence.

The more ACEs a child experiences, the greater the risk for challenges in emotional health, relationships, and long-term wellbeing.

Research shows that children with a high number of ACEs are more likely to face difficulties such as anxiety, depression, learning problems, and chronic health conditions later in life.

For example, a child exposed to ongoing family conflict or neglect may struggle with trust and emotional regulation as they grow.

At the same time, it is important to recognise that ACEs do not determine a child’s future.

Positive, stable relationships can act as protective factors, helping children overcome adversity and develop resilience.

Why Relationships Matter for Resilience

Children are naturally resilient, but resilience does not develop in isolation.

It grows through secure relationships, emotional safety, and the assurance that trusted adults will be there when needed.

These foundations provide children with a sense of stability and support during critical years of development.

When children face adversity, such as parental separation or conflict, their emotional security can be shaken.

This prolonged stress can affect brain development, learning, and social skills.

For example, a child caught in ongoing parental disputes may feel unsafe and uncertain, which can lead to anxiety or withdrawal.

Strong, nurturing relationships with caregivers, teachers, or mentors can buffer the effects of ACEs.

These relationships offer emotional support, model healthy coping strategies, and provide a safe space for children to express their feelings.

The Connection Between ACEs and Parental Alienation

Parental alienation occurs when a child loses a meaningful relationship with a loving parent due to chronic conflict or separation.

This situation is more than just missing time together.

It can mean losing a key source of emotional security and stability.

When children are caught between parents who are in conflict, they may feel torn, confused, or pressured to take sides.

This emotional strain adds to the burden of ACEs and can harm their sense of safety and belonging.

The longer a child remains separated from a healthy parental relationship, the greater the risk to their wellbeing.

Protecting the child’s remaining healthy relationships and reducing unnecessary conflict is essential.

For example, parents who focus on respectful communication and prioritise the child’s needs help maintain emotional stability during difficult times.

Childhood Development Does Not Pause

Family court proceedings and adult conflicts may take months or years to resolve.

Meanwhile, childhood continues without pause.

Every day matters in a child’s development.

While adults prepare statements, attend hearings, and wait for decisions, children keep growing emotionally, socially, and cognitively.

Delays or disruptions in their environment can have lasting effects.

This reality highlights the importance of minimising conflict and supporting children’s emotional needs throughout family transitions.

Providing consistent routines, open communication, and reassurance helps children feel secure even during uncertainty.

Practical Steps for Parents and Caregivers

Understanding ACEs and their impact is the first step toward supporting children effectively.

Here are some practical ways parents and caregivers can help:

• Build strong, trusting relationships

Spend quality time, listen actively, and show empathy to create emotional safety.

• Maintain routines and predictability

Consistent schedules help children feel secure and reduce stress.

• Encourage open communication

Allow children to express their feelings without judgement or pressure.

• Reduce exposure to conflict

Avoid arguing in front of children and work toward respectful co-parenting.

• Seek professional support when needed

Therapists or counsellors can provide guidance for children and families facing adversity.

Moving Forward

Recognising Adverse Childhood Experiences is not about creating fear.

It is about understanding how deeply childhood relationships and experiences shape development.

By focusing on building resilience through secure, supportive connections, parents and caregivers can help children overcome adversity and thrive.

Every child deserves a safe, stable environment where they can grow with confidence.

Taking steps to protect emotional wellbeing today lays the foundation for a healthier future.

In need of help or support?

If you are an alienated parent reading this article and feel you are in need of help and support then please make sure to join PAPA today by signing up here on our website.

This will give you access to our community support forum as well as our Resource Centre, which includes downloadable guides and on-demand courses to help through the process of being alienated and regaining contact with your children.

We also have our Facebook support group that you can join here.

Our Facebook support group has several dedicated chat rooms where you can get immediate support.

If you are a member of PAPA you can also send us a message here on the website and we will try to get back to you as soon as possible but please bear in mind, we have hundreds of messages weekly so it may take us a while to get back to you.

We are currently prioritising PAPA Plus members due to high demand.

Regardless of circumstance you are not alone and at PAPA we are here to support you.

Become a PAPA Ambassador

If you like our resources, articles and support networks and agree with what we stand for then why not get involved and help us push PAPA further by joining our Ambassador Program?

We would love for you to join us and help spread awareness for parental alienation and all of the dynamics involved so that we can continue to help parents and children towards a better future.

Our Ambassador Program allows you to grow your involvement with the cause by earning points on your membership.

To earn points we have created rewards for actions such as completing one of our courses, booking a case review, or ordering supply.

We will be adding new rewards and actions to our Ambassador Program as we continue to grow our awareness efforts.

We want our members to feel rewarded for their support as we continue to look for new ways to improve the lives of those impacted by parental alienation.

You can also become a PAPA Plus member, which will give you exclusive access to even more help and resources.

Each PAPA Plus membership makes a huge difference to the cause as it really helps us to improve our services and our awareness campaigns.

Proceeds from memberships and supply allow us to push the cause much further towards raising awareness and improving our services and resources so that we can continue to help more and more parents and children.

Thank you for reading and for your continued support of PAPA and our mission to end parental alienation.