Why do Domestic Violence Groups Lie About Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation is a vital issue that often emerges during custody disputes and discussions about domestic violence.

It occurs when one parent manipulates a child to reject the other parent, which can lead to serious emotional and psychological harm.

Alarmingly, some domestic violence (DV) advocacy groups are dismissing the concept of parental alienation.

They try to frame it as a tactic used by abusive parents to escape responsibility.

As a result, we have been asked the same question by thousands of parents; "why do domestic violence groups lie about parental alienation?".

This article will explore the implications of this denial, the tactics used by DV groups, and the real victims affected by these narratives.

If you're an alienated parent and need help with your situation then you should join PAPA today.

At PAPA we have several free to use support spaces, as well as several additional resources available to our Plus members, such as courses, PAPA AI, 1-2-1 help and workshops on family law and mental health.

Understanding Parental Alienation

Parental alienation happens when one parent actively undermines the relationship between a child and the other parent.

This can take many forms, such as making negative comments about the other parent, limiting communication, or spreading falsehoods.

Research shows that parental alienation can lead to severe consequences for children, including anxiety, depression, and trouble forming healthy relationships.

For instance, a study in the Journal of Family Psychology revealed that nearly 30% of children in high-conflict custody cases showed signs of parental alienation, emphasising its prevalence and seriousness.

Children reported feeling confused and conflicted about their feelings towards both parents, which can last into adulthood.

The Denial of Parental Alienation by DV Groups

Despite substantial evidence supporting parental alienation, some DV groups argue that it is merely a manipulation tactic by abusive parents.

This stance is very harmful, as it minimises the genuine experiences of countless parents and children affected by alienation.

One reason for this denial might be a sincere effort to protect victims of domestic violence.

By framing parental alienation as a manipulation tactic, these groups may believe they are defending the interests of the abused parent.

However, this approach can inadvertently shield the alienating parent from facing accountability for their actions, which can continue the cycle of harm.

The Misuse of DARVO Tactics

The term DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender."

It is a common psychological defence mechanism utilised by abusers.

Some DV groups may use this tactic to misrepresent the situation surrounding parental alienation.

By denying its existence and attacking those who seek recognition of the issue, these groups can create a narrative that favours their agenda.

For example, if a parent claims alienation, some DV advocates may dispute that parent's credibility, suggesting they are simply trying to manipulate the system, when often the opposite is true.

This approach not only discredits the parent in question but also reinforces the narrative that supports the alienating parent, allowing them to continue their harmful behaviour without facing scrutiny.

The Impact on Real Victims

The denial of parental alienation by DV groups significantly affects both children and alienated parents.

When these organisations dismiss the experiences of alienated parents, they perpetuate a culture of silence and stigma around the issue.

This can lead to emotional distress for the alienated parent, who may struggle with feelings of isolation and lack of support.

Statistics demonstrate that parental alienation impacts millions of families.

Approximately 22 million children in the United States alone are affected by some form of parental alienation, according to the American Psychological Association.

This staggering figure underscores the need for a deeper understanding of the issue, recognising the varied family dynamics at play during custody disputes.

The Role of Domestic Violence Groups

While the mission of DV groups is to support victims of domestic violence, their stance on parental alienation can unintentionally (or intentionally) cause harm.

By denying its existence, these groups may enable abusive behaviours, allowing the alienating parent to continue with little to no consequences.

Additionally, this denial creates a false dichotomy between victims of domestic violence and those suffering from parental alienation.

Many situations involve complexities where both issues exist simultaneously, and it is vital to acknowledge that both parents and children can be victims.

The Need for a Balanced Approach

To effectively address the detrimental impact of DV groups dismissing parental alienation, we must adopt a balanced approach that recognises the complexities of family dynamics.

This includes understanding that parental alienation can indeed occur in instances of domestic violence, and both issues require attention and support.

Education and awareness are essential for fostering a comprehensive understanding of parental alienation.

By offering resources and information to parents and professionals, we can spark a more informed dialogue around this issue.

This effort can help dismantle the stigma surrounding parental alienation and promote a more supportive environment for those affected.

At PAPA, we have publicly and privately reached out to all DV groups in an effort to find real transparency on issues faced by families.

We want to collaborate on projects like the Family Justice Transparency Report, in order to provide legislators and policy makers with objective and accurate data, so that we can protect more children and their parents from abuse.

Moving Forward

The denial of parental alienation by certain domestic violence groups presents a serious risk to the well-being of both children and alienated parents.

When these groups frame parental alienation as merely a manipulation tactic, they may unwittingly shield harmful behaviours and contribute to a culture of silence about a significant issue.

Recognising parental alienation as a form of domestic abuse is crucial for the health of countless families.

By fostering a nuanced understanding of this topic, we can better support the real victims of parental alienation and work towards a fairer and more equitable system for all families facing custody challenges.

Acknowledging the reality of parental alienation is essential for the well-being of many families.

Addressing and challenging the harmful narratives perpetuated by some DV groups can create a more supportive environment for everyone impacted by domestic violence and parental alienation.

It is imperative to listen to the experiences of alienated parents and children, validating their struggles and ensuring their voices are heard.

In need of help or support?

If you are an alienated parent reading this article and feel you are in need of help and support then please make sure to join PAPA today by signing up here on our website.

This will give you access to our community support forum as well as our Resource Centre, which includes downloadable guides and on-demand courses to help through the process of being alienated and regaining contact with your children.

We also have our Facebook support group that you can join here.

Our Facebook support group has several dedicated chat rooms where you can get immediate support.

If you are a member of PAPA you can also send us a message here on the website and we will try to get back to you as soon as possible but please bear in mind, we have hundreds of messages weekly so it may take us a while to get back to you.

We are currently prioritising PAPA Plus members due to high demand.

Regardless of circumstance you are not alone and at PAPA we are here to support you.

Become a PAPA Ambassador

If you like our resources, articles and support networks and agree with what we stand for then why not get involved and help us push PAPA further by joining our Ambassador Program?

We would love for you to join us and help spread awareness for parental alienation and all of the dynamics involved so that we can continue to help parents and children towards a better future.

Our Ambassador Program allows you to grow your involvement with the cause by earning points on your membership.

To earn points we have created rewards for actions such as completing one of our courses, booking a case review, or ordering supply.

We will be adding new rewards and actions to our Ambassador Program as we continue to grow our awareness efforts.

We want our members to feel rewarded for their support as we continue to look for new ways to improve the lives of those impacted by parental alienation.

You can also become a PAPA Plus member, which will give you exclusive access to even more help and resources.

Each PAPA Plus membership makes a huge difference to the cause as it really helps us to improve our services and our awareness campaigns.

Proceeds from memberships and supply allow us to push the cause much further towards raising awareness and improving our services and resources so that we can continue to help more and more parents and children.

Thank you for reading and for your continued support of PAPA and our mission to end parental alienation.